Saturday, March 10, 2007


I like my coffee. Black with one sugar. Never got into the iced mocha-java-latte-chino or anything like that. I'm a simple man who just puts his pants on one leg at a time and enjoys coffee better than cardboard.

So I'm standing by the coffee machine next to this dudeman, and I unexpectedly (to myself and to him) blurt out, "Hazelnut?"

I don't know if he didn't hear what I said, didn't understand why I would ask or care, or just thought I was a weirdo, but he just stood there for a sec looking at me. It was almost, but not quite the look I'd expect to get from a guy standing at the next urinal over if I asked him if he wanted to see a trick I just learned. Moving on...

"Your coffee; Is that hazelnut?" He hesitantly replied in the affirmative. He lightened up when I explained that I couldn't smell that kind of stuff last week because I just quit smoking. Turns out he used to smoke, too.

I have had a notoriously bad sense of smell for as long as I can remember. You probably could have snuck a turd under my pillow a week ago and gotten away with it. Don't even try it now, I'll kick your ass.

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Anonymous Mimi said...

Chris, I gotta tell ya, you have me laughing nearly each and every time I read your blog. Kiddo, you really have a talent and an excellent sense of humor. If you were older and I was younger...well, I'd give you a run for your money, yes, I would!

March 10, 2007 at 8:27:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Chris said...

Awww... that's what all the girls say. Well, all except the seventeen-year-olds.

While I can't tell you what they say, I can tell you that if more ladies had such positive reactions to my sense of humor back in the day, I just might have had a chance at prom king.

Of course, if I had a nice convertible and a really popular, hot girlfriend, and I didn't drop out junior year, I would have practically been a shoe-in.

March 11, 2007 at 10:31:00 PM EDT  

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