Huge Slacker!

I've been slacking over here lately, I know. I'll just blame the holiday and the kids having the week off from school and not bore everyone with the details.

My first thought of the day, as I feel guilty about leaving my blog all alone in the great wide internet for so many days, is this: I haven't felt like I need to log in and de-stress lately. Guess I forgot, cause it does feel nice to be back in the saddle, if you know what I mean.

Really though, I find myself thinking about why I started this blog in the first place. It's done its job, and I'm proud of it. Good blog.

So, what's up with me? I'll tell ya. First, a couple of things about smoking (always a good idea to throw in a little something that's actually on topic, huh?), and the quitting thereof as it relates to my life. Now that I've been quit for long enough for it to be clear that it's not just a phase or a failed attempt, people have been taking notice.

I have had a couple phone calls whose primary purpose was to congratulate me on quitting, a couple people say that they're proud of me, a person or two asking me how difficult it is and for advice, and a number of quitters who are thrilled that I have joined their numbers. Our numbers, that is to say.

I've worked my way to indifference regarding coffee as well. Some of you may recall that I thought I was going to give up coffee along with cigarettes for a while there. It really was tasting unappealing to me for a week or so. I still ended up having a cup every other day or so, and I guess I've reacclimated to some extent. While I'm not expecting myself to be sucking down pot after pot like I used to, one or two cups a day seems to be what I've been doing. So I am liking the coffee again, but not liking liking it like a grade school girlfriend (wow, haven't had one of those in a while) anymore.

Hm, what else? Well, the whole exercising thing has gone right out the crapper, so I'm currently five pounds up from where I started. I have no excuse. I mean, I could think of a million, but am wise enough not to. Just haven't been exercising like I wanted to is all.

And scarfing down on Easter candy, Snickers and Skittles in particular. Some days, I wish the human body could be sustained on Skittles alone, they really are so good. And sweet tarts, but those usually don't show their face until around Halloween. Skittles it is then. I really can't wait till they're gone, because I will not stop eating them so long as they are here.

I'm promising myself, you guys be my witnesses on this, that I am going to clear out that damned punching bag next week. Again, no excuses. Punching bag or bust! And also to get back into some semblance of a decent eating routine. Yeah, I kind of caved and had Burger King, Domino's and chili dogs from the grill in town, all in the last four days. Definite fattie behavior. I don't even remember what I had the other day, but likely it was such crap that I've blocked it out like a bad childhood experience.

I think that's all I have in me for right now.

Turning A Negative Into A Positive Without Advanced Mathematics

Ahh, the morning routine again. Got everybody fed and off to school safely, coffee is happily dripping, automatically. Time to go screw around with the blogs a little.

What's this? Garbage on my desk? An empty cigarette pack. Always cleaning up after everybody, that's what I am. Oh yeah, if I should suddenly disappear mysteriously and abruptly, that probably means the wife read that last sentence and doesn't think it's funny. Little joke there, babe. Just a li'l joke is all...

Moving on, it's not empty after all. there's one cigarette in a box on the computer desk. Why? I don't know. That's the negative thing. Not really so much for me, since I just threw it away.

The positive? I was so surprised to be greeted by this, I just had to post a picture. The digital camera however, has been MIA for a while. Long story short (I've been working on this skill, how am I doing?), I wandered around for just shy of an hour, ultimately finding the camera in a box under my bed.

So there it is, and yes that's a little cigarette burn next to the pack. Cool that I'll never be responsible for one of those again. I don't even know who was responsible for that one, but again, just smack me if I start with the useless little interjections.

I know, time for the conclusion: I found the long-lost camera, and (I confess) my desk is a little (okay, a lot) neater looking than it was when I woke up.

Boredom Continues To Be My Enemy

Saturday night went well. We got out to the artsy-fartsy district and had some expensive dinner and drinks, after which we checked out the Kodo drummers. Very cool show. Later on some more fattening up, this time with half-price Applebees munchies and tall glasses of beer. Don't get me wrong, I am the opposite of an Applebees fan, but those nachos are so nacho-ey and when you tell them you want your wings hot, you get your wings hot.

The cool thing was when most of our group went outside to smoke (you can't smoke inside public places here in Jersey, except in limited areas of the casinos), I got to hang in the nice heated atrium and wonder if it was as cold out there as it looked. Turned out it was, and that was also the only time I had any cause to think about smoking. It wasn't because I wanted any part of it, either.

Most of Sunday though, and to a slightly lesser extent today, I have been finding myself so damn bored! These are the times when I used to smoke cigarette after cigarette. I'm still not having a lot of cravings though, which is great, a reminder that I am really doing a good job here.

I have noticed that I've been quite the miserable prick though. Then when I do have even a little bit of a craving, you want to talk about a grumpy son of a....

I actually am lightening up some even as I type this, it gives me a chance to laugh at myself, despite my reputation for not being all that funny. That's good, since the reason for this blog's existence in the first place is to be my own little space to vent and get this kind of crap out of my system. Another small success. Wow, I'm awesome!

My Favorite Blog Today

I went outside this afternoon and was really surprised to discover that it was 72 degrees. There are birds singing, and some small animals scurrying around. I can hear them but can't quite see them. The only thing missing was a butterfly. Oh, there's one.

I stumbled across that really nice pic just in time for this oh-so-beautiful weather over at Bountiful Healing, which is chock full of truly inspired original photography work by Robin, its author.

She's a quitter too (six years strong, whoa), that's actually how I stumbled across this site. Always looking for a good quit story. In a recent post, she recalls some details of the determination required to succeed.

"I once took a killer craving, mentally shot it out into space, and wondered if there was some creature on another planet suddenly hit by nicotine cravings crying out 'I want a cigarette!' and then wondering what the heck a cigarette is and why he was craving it."

I can't wait to see what she captures next with that camera of hers.